Friday, 16 October 2009

Life imitating Hitman...

As a result of no writing, lots of films I'm now stupidly busy, although mainly because I have an exam for the day job next week. Not looking forward to that, and spending my weekend studying exam material isn't anywhere near as interesting as spending it writing. And I kind of need to do both. And Brother Tim is visiting whom I haven't seen for months so I may end up not doing either.

Anyway, yesterday I had a meeting at lunchtime which I had to cut short to get back to the day job. As everyone involved would be at a party later that evening I agreed to go along and meet them there to finish up the meeting.

What followed closely resembled a level from the game Hitman (later made into a rubbish film), in which you often had to infiltrate parties in order to assassinate someone important.

So I go into this huge, labyrinthine post-production building (it was their launch party/networking thing) and give my name at the door. Unfortunately I didn't have time to beat up a waiter and steal his clothes (the usual method of entry in Hitman) so I had to go with just being me rather than coming up with a secret identity. Obviously I'm not on the list so I then give the name of the person I'm there to see who is on the list and is already there. This isn't challenged and I'm in.

But then I'm given a series of complicated instructions. This party has 'levels', much like a game would. As I go round the building various people will take me into various rooms and explain what they're doing. But I don't want to do any of that, I'm just here to see people I already know and finish off my meeting. So I put in a cheat code, which basically involves me shaking my head and vaguely pointing upstairs whenever someone comes out of a room to show me something.

This works fine until I get lost at the end of the first level and can't find the stairs. I'm then faced with an end of level boss whom I suspect has been sent by the bloke I met when I came in. I imagine their conversation went something like:

'I think you'd better keep an eye on that bloke. He wasn't on the list and says he's just here to "meet up with friends".'

'Don't worry,' says the other bloke, 'I'll cut him off at the end of the level'

Anyway, I explain myself to the end of level boss and he agrees to take me to level two. Awesome, but once we're on level two he tries to take me into a screening room. I don't want to go into a screening room, I want to find my friends! Luckily the screening room door is shut and he isn't sure if there's a screening in progress or not, so I take the opportunity to sneak away and carry on up the stairs to level 3, thus skipping level 2 completely.

On level 3 I find the people I'm looking for, have a chat, eat some free food and leave. Mission Successful. Although I don't think I'd get the Silent Assassin rating.


reelcitizen said...

Shame you weren't playing Metal Gear Solid. Then you could have just crept around in a box without anyone noticing you at all.

Ross said...

Brilliant! Could have maybe used those satay sticks to incapacitate some of the staff on the way out though...

T.L. Byford said...

Should've pulled out the Ballers and blasted your way to the top...definately no Silent Assassin then.

And I agree, the movie was rubbish.